In His Arms
by Crimson Love20
Summary: Bella and Edward are best friends. Edward and his entire family leave. What happens when the family stops talking to Bella, then suddenly springs the surprise that Alice and Jasper are coming to Forks to get married, and Edward is also engaged? One-shot.
1. In His Arms

**Okay, so as it turns out, getting out of school for two days due to snow makes you a little bored ... or creative. Either way, I've been writing almost non-stop. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. Not by a long shot.**

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Two Years Earlier ...

"Edward?" I whispered, looking up at my best friend. Well, he was my best friend, _and_ I was secretly in love with him. "What did you just say?"

Edward grimaced a little, and I knew that I had heard correctly. "I'm leaving, Bella. I have to go to Dartmouth. My parents won't let me go anywhere else." I looked up at him, shocked. He was picking college over me? _Of course he is, Bella, _I told myself. _You're just his friend. This is his career we're talking about_.

I nodded slowly, still upset that he was going to leave me like this and never return. I felt my heart break as I realized that this would probably be the last time I ever saw him. "Okay, Edward."

"You're okay with it?" he asked, almost in shock.

I forced myself to nod. "Of course, Edward. If Esme and Carlisle won't let you attend any other college, then that's where you have to go." Oh, but how I hated to let him go, just like that.

Edward and I had been best friends since we were little. We had grown up together in the small town of Forks, located in Washington. I was incredibly close to Edward's siblings, Alice and Emmett, and Jasper and Rosalie, Alice's boyfriend and Emmett's girlfriend. We were one huge family. Of course, Edward and I had been merely friends, nothing more. We'd watched each other grow up. I'd seen Edward hit puberty, and vice versa. While those had been extremely awkward years, we had been there for one another.

I'd first started crushing on him when he was about fifteen. Before then, things had been pretty normal and easy. There were the instances that Edward would hold me closer than dictated. We wrestled a lot, and there had been the time I was sixteen that he had landed on top of me. He'd frozen for a good two minutes before shaking his head and getting up. I had been fighting back a blush the entire time.

I had watched him in his first relationship. Seeing him with Tanya had burned a hole right through my chest, and during that time period, he would blow off our plans for her. It made me insanely jealous and pissed off. To this day, I still wasn't sure whether he knew how upset he'd made me by spending more time with her than with me. After five months or so, he finally learned that she had been cheating on him and dumped her. He hadn't had a girlfriend since.

And now, here we were. He was heading off to Dartmouth while I was staying in Forks to take care of my dad. He was getting older, and I was worrying about him constantly. "But I'll still get to see Esme and Carlisle and everyone, right?"

Edward's eyebrows dipped, and he grimaced. I knew that the news couldn't be good. "Well, actually, Bella, Carlisle got a job offer in California. Esme and Carlisle are moving there. And my siblings are coming with me to Dartmouth."

Sudden realization washed over me, and I thought I would fall to my knees. "Everyone's leaving?" I whispered.

Edward grimaced. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Bella. I meant to tell you, but I didn't know how you would take it. We'll still keep in touch, right?"

How could I keep in touch with him? He has going to be all the way across the country. But I couldn't tell him no. That was always my problem. I could never deny him. He was everything to me. "Yeah, yeah, of course," I whispered, nodding. I wasn't sure if I was nodding because I knew I had to, or if I was trying to convince myself that it would be possible.

Edward hugged me tightly, burying his face in my hair. "I'll miss you, Bella. Take care of yourself, all right? And if any guy pisses you off, I'm a plane ticket away." He smiled into my hair. I never wanted him to let go. I wanted to stay in his arms my whole life, and I didn't want him to go all the way across the country.

I knew I had to say those three little words before he got into his car and left for the airport. I knew I had to say them, but when I had finally cleared my throat, Edward had let me go. He smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Isabella."

He took my hand, squeezed once, then released.

"Edward, I -" I paused, looking at him. His face was full of wonder, and his piercing green eyes were trained on my face.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I l -" He arched an eyebrow so I quickly changed my words. Friendship with Edward was better than nothing. "I'll miss you."

His face fell, and he nodded slowly. "I'll miss you, too." He winked once, then got into his car. I knew as I watched his car disappear that I was a coward.

---

_Present_

It had been two years since Edward and I had spoken. When he had left, just as I thought, his family hadn't maintained any sort of contact with me. I missed talking to Carlisle. I missed hugging Emmett, or talking about cars with Rosalie even though I had no idea what she said half the time. I missed Esme's cooking. I even missed shopping trips with Alice. But most of all, I missed Edward. Things had been hard the past few months.

Charlie had gotten extremely sick, and he had returned home from the hospital the previous week. I was stressed beyond belief. My job was full of creeps who couldn't get a clue, and I was worried about Charlie all the time. I needed my best friend, but as far as I knew, he'd moved to Alaska or Hawaii. He'd disappeared off the face of the earth.

My cell phone rang, and I was jolted out of my thoughts. I nearly swore when I saw the caller ID. Alice Cullen was calling me. I swallowed as I accepted the call.

"Alice?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone, then finally, "No. It's not Alice." Edward's beautiful voice flowed to me through the phone.

"Edward?" There was no way. He couldn't have disappeared on me for all this time and then expect to call me back and everything would be fine, could he?

"Hello, Bella. How have you been?" It appeared that he did expect that. Well, I was too stressed to try to pretend like everything was okay.

"I've been stressed out and wondering where the hell you went. How are you?" I knew I was being snippy, but I couldn't help myself. He had been everything, and he had effectively cut me off from his entire family.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I've been exhausted. Studying all the time does that." He chuckled a little.

"How are Rosalie and Emmett?" I sat down on my bed, hoping to calm down before I bit his head off.

There was a long pause. "They got married."

Anger surged through me. I hadn't even been invited. They knew where I had been the entire time. I knew Rosalie hadn't been all that fond of me, but I had figured Edward or even Emmett would have stepped in on my part to make sure I was invited. "Oh, really?" I snapped. "When was that?"

"A few months ago," he admitted. "We're sorry, Bella. That's what Alice wanted to tell you." I heard some fighting, and then Alice's bubbly voice came through the phone.

"Bella, we are so sorry. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Jasper proposed a few weeks ago, and I wanted you to come be my maid of honor! We wanted to have the wedding in Forks, you know, so we could come see you and Charlie." I heard the grin in her voice as she talked about my father. Charlie absolutely loved Alice.

"Well, um, that's going to have to be soon because he's . . ." I sighed deeply. "He's not doing so well, Ali."

I figured that would shock her, but it didn't deter her for one second. "I figured as much, so that's why we're coming down in a few days! Won't that be fun? Esme and Carlisle are going to let us do it at the house, so they're going back there to get it ready in the next couple of days."

"Wait, wait, wait. You expect me to just accept the fact that you're coming back here to get married? After not talking to me for two years? Sorry, Ali, it doesn't work like that."

"But _Bella_, please. We're really sorry." Her voice lowered. "Edward's miserable. He misses his best friend, Bella. And I _know_ you miss him. Do you still have feelings for him?"

"Of course I do, Alice," I hissed. "I've missed him every day. But none of you talked to me. You left me here to take care of my father, and you've never _once_ called or e-mailed . . . I thought you guys abandoned me."

"I'm sorry, Bella! But with Edward's whole engagement -"

"_What?_" Edward was engaged? My heart shattered into a billion pieces. I had waited and pined, and now it was all for nothing.

"Shit," Alice cursed. "Bella, it's a long story, and it would be better if we told you in person. We'll be down there in a few days, all right?"

"Okay," I whispered. I couldn't believe that Edward was engaged. The least they could have done was tell me about it.

"Fine, Edward. Here she is." The thought of speaking to Edward _now_, and not breaking down had me shaking horribly. My thumb pressed the end call button without my brain telling it to. I felt horrible about hanging up on Edward, but I just wouldn't be able to talk to him. Not at this point, anyway.

I was in complete shock that nobody had even _told_ me. One phone call or text was all it would have taken. I could have stopped wishing he'd come back, and he would have gone on with his life. The thought of anyone but me being married to him had my stomach churning in anger. I was jealous, no doubt, but if Edward was happy, then I was happy. I could accept that he had found someone that would make him happy. Not happily, albeit, but I could accept it.

---

True to Alice's word, Carlisle and Esme came to visit me and Charlie two days from the phone call. They visited for a few hours. I talked with Carlisle, trying to stray away from Edward, and leaning more toward what he and Esme had been doing. They were excited about going back to the house where their children had grown up. They still had to decorate, so they were looking forward to that. When the time came, I hugged my second set of parents. They promised that everyone else would arrive in two days.

Those forty-eight hours were the longest two days of my entire life. I was jittery and fidgety. I barely got any work done. I was too worried about seeing my past show up at my front door. Esme and Carlisle were right, for Emmett's familiar Jeep showed up at my front door forty-two hours after Esme and Carlisle had left.

Alice sprung out of the car, and she nearly tackled me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly. "Oh, shit, Bella, I missed you," she wailed.

"Shhh, it's okay," I murmured, hugging her back. Jasper was behind her, looking as serene as always. His hair was slightly longer than I remembered it, but the color was still its same honey blonde. Thank God he hadn't grown any taller. He'd been over six foot in his sophomore year of high school.

"All right, Pix, let's see it," I chuckled, calling her by her nickname. She had always looked like a little pixie with her pale skin, crop of black, spiky hair, and lithe movements. She grinned and nearly thrust her hand up my mouth. The ring was gorgeous. "God, Pix, it's beautiful. Are you excited?"

"Well, duh!" We both laughed for a moment before Jasper pulled her into his arms. Emmett and Rosalie emerged from the car next. Rosalie, like always, stunned me into silence with her beauty.

She moved forward and hugged me quickly. "Hey, Bella. I'm sorry about the whole wedding fiasco. Emmett and I wanted it to be family only, and we consider you family, but then we were worried about the cost of you flying out to Ireland, and we just figured -" She took a deep breath, seemingly calming herself. "We wished you were there, Bella."

I chuckled. "It's fine, Rosalie. I understand. I'm going to be in one Cullen wedding, and that's enough for me." We both chuckled softly. Emmett came forward and lifted me up.

"Jesus, Bells, are you getting enough to eat? I think you're lighter than you were senior year." He looked on concerned, and everyone turned to look at me, their faces all wearing the same expression - worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just been stressed out lately. Really, it's nothing," I insisted. Alice narrowed her eyes at me. I avoided her gaze like it was the plague.

"Whatever you say," Emmett mumbled as he set me down.

I smiled up at him. "So, Emmett Cullen is a married man. I never thought I would live to see the day." Emmett grinned.

"Yeah, it's pretty sweet." He winked suggestively.

"Oh, gross, Emmett!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust, and then realized that Edward hadn't appeared yet. "Hey, where's -"

"Edward? He'll be here soon. He had to drive separately," Alice said, smiling.

"Oh. Does he still have -"

"The Volvo?" Alice snickered. "Yeah, he does. Oh, and Bella, I have your dress with me. You're going to love it, I swear!" She grinned at me.

"When have I ever hated anything you bought, Alice?" I asked skeptically.

She burst into laughter. "How about every single thing I've ever bought for you?"

I blushed and grinned. "Okay, well, yeah. But I'm sure this will be different. I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't want me to wear something on your wedding that I would hate, right, Alice?"

"Well . . ." She grinned mischievously.

"Oh, God, Alice, please don't tell me that -" I froze as I saw Edward's silver Volvo pull up behind Emmett's Jeep. My heart began to frantically beat as I searched his passenger seat. There was no one. I exhaled slowly, relieved that I wouldn't be subjected to watching Edward and his fiancee for the next few days.

Everyone looked at each other awkwardly. "Um, let's go see Charlie?" Jasper mumbled uncomfortably. The others agreed and headed inside while I watched my best friend and one love get out of his car.

Thank God they were at least giving us some privacy. Edward smiled when he saw me, and I nearly cried when I noticed his features. His face was paler than normal, and his eyes had deep circles under them. His hair was everywhere, which wasn't anything new. It was a bit longer, like Jasper's, but I found that I liked it better this way. Either way, he was still the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on.

His expression went from elation to concern as he looked me over. "Have you lost weight, Bella?" he asked worriedly.

"Why is everyone stuck on the fact that I might have lost four or five pounds?" I complained. My job made it hard to eat three meals a day. I usually skipped breakfast, had a small lunch, then made dinner for Charlie. "Especially after all of you disappear for two years."

He grimaced, his full lips forming a small frown. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered. "I never meant for that to happen. I figured you were mad at us after you didn't call or write."

"I was actually expecting you guys to write or call," I admitted, blushing a little, letting my eyes fall to the ground. I had been so stupid. If I hadn't been so insecure and just _called, _this never would have happened.

"I missed you, Bella," he murmured. "You look . . ."

"Tired, stressed, overworked, shocked - take your pick, I know they're all true."

He simply shook his head and said, "Good. You look good, Bella. It's hard to believe that it's been two years."

"Two years, three months, and eleven days," I corrected quietly.

"What was that?" His voice was soft, and he sounded closer than before.

"It's been two years, three months, and eleven days since you left Forks." We both knew there was an unspoken phrase on the end of that. _Since you left me_, I whispered in my mind. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered roughly into my hair. "But I'm back now. It's okay."

I curled my fingers into his shirt, wanting to stay close to him. Tears pricked my eyes, and I willed them to stay away. I hoped he wouldn't bring up the subject of his fiancee right now. Because if he did, it would definitely ruin the moment.

"I missed you, Edward," I mumbled, on the verge of tears. Oh, that was the understatement of the century. I had done more than miss him. Every day I had wished that he would call, write, or even text, letting me know that he was all right, that things were okay. He hadn't done any of those things because he thought that I was angry with him. But it was all I could say to him for the time being. I could never tell him my secret.

I was always petrified that in telling my secret to Edward, I would ruin our friendship. I couldn't tell him that I loved him because being his friend had always been the best thing to ever happen to me. I couldn't lose that. And now I couldn't tell him because he belonged to another. He belonged to someone who could tell him that she loved him and not be afraid of saying it, because he loved her back. Edward could never love somebody like me.

I was too plain, too mundane. His fiancee was probably beautiful and incredibly smart. He had probably found her at Dartmouth, and they would have a wonderful life together. I cringed when I thought of myself. I would always be waiting, constantly checking up on him to see how his marriage was doing. And if he ever breathed the word 'divorce', I would have jumped at the change to tell him what I felt for him.

Suddenly, I heard someone call my name. My vision was blurred as I looked up at Edward. "You still zone out, I see," he croaked, smiling his irrestible crooked smile. He wiped the tears from my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

I wanted to cry even harder when I thought of his fiancee, the woman who would get to see that smile every day. She would be the luckiest woman on the planet, and I found myself wishing that she was here so I could make sure she knew to never take him for granted.

"Bella, you need to stop crying," Edward whispered. "They're watching us through the window," he breathed in my ear. My head snapped up, and I caught Alice's face disappearing behind a curtain. I laughed, despite my position.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I just -" I wiped my tears away quickly, embarrassed that I had cried so much. "It's nice to see you, you know?"

"Yes, I know," he replied calmly, smiling at me. He led me inside the house, his hand on the small of my back. I couldn't help but smile at the sensation.

---

The next few days were filled with appointments and shopping, courtesy of Alice. I was fitted for my dress, which was a deep blue. I wanted to hit Alice when I remembered that that particular shade of blue was Edward's favorite color. She planned it that way, I was sure of it. Esme and Carlisle decorated the old house, and I helped with that as much as I could. Charlie wasn't going to go to the wedding - he insisted it be the Cullens and myself.

I was grateful because I didn't want him to see me cry at a wedding. Charlie didn't like to show his emotions, and when I cried, it kind of freaked him out. I rekindled my friendship with every Cullen, save for Edward. Ever since first seeing him, he'd been awkward around me, always finding excuses to leave the room.

I accepted it unhappily and with many tears. I wanted us to be like we had always been. I didn't want his fiancee coming between our perfect friendship. Our friendship was the only reason that I had never told Edward my feelings. But if that was already gone, I might as well blow the secret too. But saying one thing and actually doing it are two very different things. It was easy to say that I was going to tell Edward that I loved him. But actually going up to his face and telling him, that was a different story entirely.

Finally, the day of the wedding came, and Edward and I still hadn't talked much since the day the Cullens had arrived. We were polite, but that was it. There was no familiarity in the way we talked. It was like we were strangers.

I was walking around, trying to calm down before the wedding and accidentally ran into Edward, who seemed to be doing the same thing.

"Hey," I mumbled, intent on walking past him, the same way we had done for almost a week.

"Bella," he whispered, lightly grabbing my upper arm, stopping me. I turned around.

"Yeah, Edward?" He looked gorgeous in his black tux, his hair as tame as it could possibly be. I noticed him looking me up and down intently, causing me to blush heavily.

He gnawed on his lower lip for a moment, a trait he'd picked up from me. "You look beautiful," he finally murmured.

I blushed harder. "Uh, thanks, Edward. You, too." Both our eyes widened, and I shook my head. "Well, not that. You don't look beautiful. Well, I mean, yeah, you do, but -" I stopped, taking a deep breath, afraid to look at Edward's face. "You look nice, Edward." When I finally gained the courage to look at him, he was smirking a little.

"Thanks, Bella." He ran his fingers through his hair, effectively messing it up. "Shit," he mumbled. "Damn it, Bella, look what you made me do." His words were harsh, but his tone was playful.

"Want me to fix that?" I offered meekly.

He paused a moment, blinked, then nodded slowly. He waited expectantly. "Uhm, you're too tall. Bend down."

His eyes flashed then he smirked playfully. He bent his knees, and I fixed his hair back the way it was. It was just as soft as I remembered. I was nearly gnawing my lip off by the time I was done.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," I replied. "Well, I should probably get going. Alice is going to freak out if I'm not there."

He nodded slowly. "See you around, Bella."

---

The wedding was beautiful. It was peaceful and serene, just like I imagined it to be. Surprisingly, I reigned in my tears when Alice and Jasper said, "I do." The reception was easy enough. Since it was just the me and the Cullens, we could basically do whatever we wanted.

I went upstairs to Edward's old music room and was surprised to find that he was there. I opened the door a few inches and saw that he was on his back, lying on the couch in the room. I opened it a few more inches, and it creaked. I froze, and Edward sat up.

"Hey, Bella," he murmured, laying back down.

"Hi, Edward. Are you okay? You look out of it." And he did. He had his hands speared through his hair, and his eyes were closed.

"I _am _out of it. I'm stressing out about all this stuff." I assumed he meant the wedding. I wanted to cry when I realized that today might possibly be the last day he was here before he went back to the East Coast. I sighed as I realized that I had to know now, or I would probably never know.

"Where are you going to have your wedding?" I asked, sitting down on the piano bench.

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Probably on a beach, something quiet, like Alice and Jasper did." I was upset when he said that. It was where I wanted my wedding to be.

I nodded, pretending to act like I wasn't dying on the inside. "So where would your honeymoon be?" I wanted to scream when I asked that. Why in God's name did I want to know?

"Eh, Italy or France. They're beautiful countries." I wanted to cry. Those were my top choices for honeymoon spots.

I finally asked the question I was dreading. "What's she like?"

He sat up. "Who?" His face was full of confusion. I was sure mine mirrored his at this point.

"Your fiancee?" I hadn't meant for it to sound like a question, but that was how it came out of my mouth.

"What fiancee?" Now I was just plain confused.

"Alice said that you were engaged and-"

His jaw locked, and his hands clenched into fists. His piercing emerald eyes darkened in anger. "I'm not engaged, Bella."

"But Alice said that you were." My eyebrows dipped as I tried to make sense of this. "She said that you weren't in touch with me because of your engagement."

"I _was_ engaged," he bit out, putting deliberate emphasis on the past tense. If he _was_ engaged, then that meant that -

"You're not engaged?" I whispered. He shook his head.

"Nope. It ended a few months ago. She was cheating on me."

"That's awful." I felt so bad for Edward. Why did girls constantly cheat on him? He was the perfect guy. He never did anything wrong, and he was always considerate and romantic. Edward was the epitome of perfection.

He shrugged. "She wasn't the right girl for me, anyway."

I thought I was going to scream when I realized that there was no reason for me to not tell Edward that I loved him. I just had to find the courage to do so.

"Edward, I -" I paused and took a deep breath. He sat up, looking interested, his green eyes rapt with attention. He had already said that he thought I was beautiful today. Maybe he wasn't being polite, as I had assumed, but perhaps he really meant it? I could only hope.

"I l -" I looked down at my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. "Edward, I love you. I've always loved you. I thought I was going to die inside when I thought that you were getting married to someone else. And it killed me when you left for Dartmouth. I'm sorry I never told you, but I was always afraid of what you would say or think. But I'm not afraid anymore. Not of admitting my feelings for you after I was convinced that I had already lost you."

Silence filled the air, and I knew that I had lost my best friend. I stood, but as I brushed past Edward, I felt his fingers take my hand. I turned around, curious, and found him looking up at me reverently.

"I love you, too, Bella," he whispered. He stood up slowly and cupped my cheek with his right hand. He kissed me gently, softly. "I love you." He kissed me in between sentences. "I've always loved you. I hated leaving you. I didn't want to go. I thought I could get over you. I can't, Bella. I love you too much." He smiled at me.

I buried my face in his chest, safe in his arms at last.

---

_Four Years Later..._

"Edward!" I called. Renesmee, our two-year-old daughter, looked back at me with her adorable smile.

"Momma?" she whispered. I picked her up, kissing her forehead quickly.

"Yes, Renesmee?"

She bit her lip gently and pointed to a cookie. _Damn, I knew I should've hidden those._

Edward appeared, and he grinned, knowing exactly what she wanted. "Yes, angel, you can have a cookie, but only one." He took her out of my arms, swung her around for a moment, then handed her a cookie.

She took a huge mouthful. "Mmm," she mumbled around what was supposed to be her dessert but was now her appetizer.

"Edward, those were for dinner," I huffed. He grinned because he knew I couldn't be mad at him. It was something he used to his advantage every time he could. He took a cookie and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth quickly.

He swallowed and kissed me gently. "I know, but you know how we Cullens love your cookies."

"Yes, but I wish you would save them for dessert." He grinned at me, and we both looked at Renesmee, who had just finished the last part of her cookie.

She yawned, and I glared at Edward. "See, Edward? Now she's going to be falling asleep in her dinner."

His eyes widened, he tilted his head to the side like he did when he was thinking about something, then grinned broadly. "That would be a fantastic picture to show her future boyfriend." We looked at each other, then at Renesmee, and burst into laughter.

"Would you like that, Renesmee? Do you want Mommy to take a picture of you asleep in your spaghetti?" I teased.

She glared at us, jutting her lower lip out, a skill she had learned from Alice. "No," she muttered, sullen. Edward bounced her up and down, knowing exactly how to cheer her up. She smiled. "I love 'sketti!"

"We know you do, angel, we know," Edward murmured. After we ate dinner, Edward and I gave her a bath and put her to bed. We watched our daughter sleep soundly, and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Happy third anniversary," he murmured in my ear. I smiled and nodded. I turned around and hugged him tightly.

And I knew that whatever happened, whatever the circumstances, I would always be safe in his arms.

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Holy moly, that is a long one-shot. And I've been writing for several straight hours, and my Internet has been a bitch, so maybe you could review? I've lost this thing like seven times. Computers were almost thrown in the process of writing this.

**Review?**

**J.C.**


	2. Keeping Her Safe

**By popular demand, here is "In His Arms" in Edward's point of view! Hope you all enjoy. :D And special thanks to Broken . Bells for suggesting this specifically and giving me the courage to take on another chapter of this beast. ;D**

**Disclaimer: All Stephenie Meyer… Which is not me. – Sigh –**

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_Two years earlier ..._

"Edward?" Bella whispered, looking up at me with her gorgeous, sparkling eyes. They were now filled with sadness and shock. I knew I should have told her about the move sooner, but I hadn't wanted her to be upset. That had been a wasted effort seeing as she was now close to tears. "What did you just say?" she asked, her delicate eyebrows dipping.

I swallowed slowly, and the small glimmer of hope that had been in her eyes dimmed. Her face completely fell, and she glanced down at the ground. I desperately wished to reach out and touch her cheek, perhaps even kiss her gently, but I knew I would not have that honor.

Bella had never shown interest in me that way. Our relationship was purely platonic – we were friends. At least, that was what I'd had to convince myself of. And it _was_ true, in a way. We were the best of friends. She was practically family. She had bonded with my brother and sister almost instantaneously. And when Jasper and Rosalie showed up, Bella did her best to make sure that everyone was included in plans. Everyone had bonded with her, including Rosalie, which was a miracle in itself.

I wanted nothing more than to stay with her, for the rest of my life, but now here I was, telling Bella that I was leaving her. I sighed softly, much too softly for her to hear.

"I'm leaving, Bella. I have to go to Dartmouth. My parents won't let me go anywhere else." That was partially true. Esme and Carlisle had insisted on Dartmouth, but I had been the one to accept the offer. If I wasn't going to tell Bella the way I felt, then I had to try to forget her by moving as far away as I could.

I hated to leave her here this way, but it would be too hard to watch her in a relationship. A relationship which, knowing how tenacious and loving Bella was, would surely lead to a marriage. I would be a wreck. I needed to get out while I still could.

I hadn't noticed, but Bella had looked up at me in blatant shock, her lips parted, her eyes wide open. I looked back at her, trying to memorize her features though I knew I was going to leave her in the next few minutes – forever. There was a good likelihood that I would never return to Forks, and I had to keep my best friend in mind for as long as I could.

Bella swallowed, her throat flexing gently. She nodded slowly, wringing her tiny hands together nervously, anxiously. "Okay, Edward," she murmured.

It was my turn for my eyes to widen. I had assumed that she would put up much more of a fight, but then again, that was Bella. She was always surprising us. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt when it registered in my mind that she was nonchalant to the fact that I was leaving.

"You're okay with it?" I asked in disbelief.

Bella gave me a small half-smile, and she nodded. I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the strands of soft, silky hair that bounced as her head moved. My eyes snapped to her face. "Of course, Edward. If Esme and Carlisle won't let you attend any other college, then that's where you have to go," she said quietly, keeping her eyes trained on me.

We were both silent for a long time, taking in the moment. I was actually getting ready to leave Bella, and she wasn't objecting to it. I wasn't sure what I had wanted her to do, but it certainly wasn't this. I knew she wouldn't have cried and clung to me. That simply wasn't Bella. She wasn't that expressive with her emotions.

Her eyes flashed to mine, and the hope was back. I prepared myself for a quiet argument, but what she said stunned me into momentary silence. "But I'll still get to see Esme and Carlisle and everyone, right?"

I wanted to kill myself. I was so stupid for giving her the impression that I was the only one leaving. Of course she would have assumed that the entire family wasn't coming with me. Carlisle and Esme's move wasn't planned either. I hated breaking her spirit like this.

I sighed softly, running my fingers through my hair. "Well, actually, Bella, Carlisle got a job offer in California." I chanced a look at her and wanted to stop telling her the hardest thing to hear. I wanted to stop telling her the truth. But I knew she needed to hear it, above all else. "Esme and Carlisle are moving there. And my siblings are coming with me to Dartmouth."

I watched my best friend come to the realization that her second family was disappearing. It killed me to see her in pain like that, but it had to be for the best. Bella was so kind and compassionate. She would surely find new friends, a boyfriend.

"Everyone's leaving?" Her lips barely moved, and I had to strain to catch the words. I wasn't completely sure she had meant to say it out loud, but her eyes were glued to me. I could see the desperation in her wide eyes. She wanted it to be a misunderstanding. She didn't want us to go.

I winced and mumbled, "Yeah. I'm sorry, Bella. I meant to tell you, but I didn't know how you would take it." I paused for a second, letting myself calm down for a short moment. "We'll still keep in touch, right?"

Indecision crossed her face, and I waited, anxious for her answer. There was no doubt in my mind that she would say yes, but I wondered if she really wanted to keep speaking to me after springing this on her so suddenly. I hated the idea that I would lose my best friend, along with any chance for a relationship with her.

She nodded quickly, saying, "Yeah, yeah, of course." The words were quick and rushed. I sighed in defeat as I realized how they had sounded – indifferent. She was upset, and I had caused her anger or sadness, whichever it was. I loathed the fact that I was making her feel like this.

I wanted to fix it, to make all of this better somehow. So I did the only thing I knew how to – I hugged her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hid my face against her hair. She always smelled so good, but I had never gotten the courage to tell her so. Her skin was so soft and flawless.

But I was the best friend, not the boyfriend. I always had to keep that in mind when I was around her. "I'll miss you, Bella," I murmured. "Take care of yourself, all right?" I wouldn't be able to stand it if anything happened to her while I was gone. "And if any guy pisses you off, I'm a plane ticket away." I almost wanted someone to make her angry just so I could see her again. I grinned at the thought of seeing her, though she was still right here with me.

We were quiet for a moment, taking in the situation for the final time. I knew I needed to start to head out, but I never wanted this moment to end. So I kept my arms around her for as long as I could. I mentally sighed as I did the math in my head. I needed to leave now so I could catch my flight.

I withdrew my arms from her waist, smiling wistfully at her. "Goodbye, Isabella." I reached out and took her small hand in mine. I squeezed gently, then let her go.

As I began to head to my car, she called, "Edward, I –" I turned around, intrigued by her sudden outburst. It was so unlike Bella to fight or argue against something. _Unpredictable_, I reminded myself quickly before turning all my attention to the beautiful girl in front of me.

"Yes, Bella?" I whispered, hoping she would say three words that would allow me to say what I had felt for so long. I hoped and pleaded and prayed to every deity I could think of. _Please say it, Bella. _Please, _I beg of you. Say it so that I can stay and never leave your side._

"I l –" My eyes widened. Was she really about to tell me what I had wanted to hear every day since I had realized that I loved her? "I'll miss you," she whispered, smiling at me assuredly.

My heart dropped. I had misunderstood and twisted the words, trying to make myself hear what I wanted to hear, not what she felt.

_Get it together, Edward. It's all right. She'll be okay_. I took a deep breath and nodded, forcing confidence into my expression. "I'll miss you, too." I winked, and she beamed at me. I slid into my car. I put the car into drive and watched her for as long as I could before she disappeared out of my sight.

_Edward Cullen, you are such a coward_.

---

_Present_

"But _Edward_," Alice whined, "it's been over two years since you last talked to her." I was just now tuning into Alice's lecture and assumed the subject was one that had been long debated throughout my family for months now.

And what was Alice even talking about? It hadn't been that long since I had talked to my ex-fiancée, Lauren. "Alice, I have no need to talk to her. Everything has been said and done. It's over with. Now don't bring it up again," I muttered.

Alice rolled her eyes and rubbed her chin with her tiny hand. "You are such an idiot," she snapped. "Not that _bitch_, Edward." She sighed, almost as if I was a lost cause. "_Bella_."

Just her name caused me to sit up and pay attention to my newly-engaged sister. "What about Bella?" I rasped. I hated myself for the fact that I hadn't given Alice the respect she wanted. I made a promise to myself to be more attentive to her speeches from now on.

"You need to call her and talk to her, Edward. I'm telling you, she's not mad at you," she insisted. I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

"You didn't see her face, Alice," I breathed, closing my eyes. "She was devastated. There's no way that she's not pissed off at us. And even if she wasn't, when she finds out that she wasn't invited to Rose and Em's wedding, then I can guarantee that she will be."

"So call and straighten everything out," Alice huffed, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Just _call?_ Alice, if I disappeared on you for two years and then decided to call and say, 'Hey, how are things? Sorry, I got busy and just forgot. So what have you been up to for the past two years?', then what would you say?" I challenged.

Alice sighed softly, tapping her foot. "You're right," she sighed, sitting on the couch next to me. "It's a lost cause. There's no way she'll even answer the phone. You'd be better off just forgetting about her, Edward."

But that was the thing – even when I'd dated Lauren, been engaged to Lauren – nothing had changed. My heart still belonged to Bella. I knew it was a mistake when I proposed to Lauren, but I was desperate. I knew it was impossible for me to be with Bella. I had to make my heart forget her. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was going to try everything.

Including proposing to a woman I didn't love.

My family knew it wasn't right, either, but they didn't object. They had seen how miserable I was without anybody. At least with Lauren, I had a reason to pretend to go out and socialize. But every time I saw Lauren's blonde hair, I wanted brunette. When she batted her large blue eyes at me, I saw wide, doe eyes taking their place.

Bella was in every thought, every prayer, every dream. She was everything, and anything I tried was all in vain. She had permanently branded herself into the very core of my soul. Every time I saw a flash of brown hair, I had to fight back the thought that perhaps Bella had tracked me down after all this time.

I knew it was irrational, proposing to Lauren, but I'd been half-crazed with my love for Bella at the time. I regretted it immediately after, but I didn't want to crush her. She had acted hopelessly in love with me. I had thought it such a shame when she hadn't bonded with any of my siblings.

Anything she had done, I had compared her with Bella. No one matched up.

I'd been so confused. It had become glaringly obvious that I would have to break off the engagement, but I hadn't known how. She was so enthralled with me – at least, that was what I had thought, until I had found her practically ripping clothes off of a classmate of mine, Tyler Crowley.

I had been both infuriated and relieved when I had felt nothing as I saw her paw and kiss another man. Infuriated because I was _relieved_. I couldn't understand why I was so nonchalant to see my fiancée behave like that with someone else. I quickly decided it didn't matter and made myself visible. Lauren immediately gasped and backed away.

Tyler looked terrified. He knew who Emmett was, and he knew what he looked like. "L-Look, man, we were just –" he'd stammered. I'd merely held up a hand, silencing him rather effectively.

"Lauren, give me that ring," I'd instructed coolly. I'd been so relieved that the engagement was finally ending. I could stop pretending that I cared about her when all of my thoughts were on Bella. Lauren's fingers had shaken as she'd removed the ring.

I had looked it over for a short moment. I couldn't decide – should I keep it and reuse it? Or should I get rid of it? The latter was my choice. The ring didn't belong to anyone. If I ever did find my real wife, I wouldn't want her to wear _this_ ring. I was so grateful to myself. I had bought Lauren a ring instead of giving her my mother's ring – the ring I wanted my wife to wear. At least I'd had some common sense during that time.

I had locked eyes with both Lauren and Tyler before tossing it into the lake that wasn't twenty feet from us. There had been a faint splash, and Lauren's eyes had widened.

"But _Eddie_," she'd whined and pleaded. "I'm _so sorry_, baby. Please, forgive me."

I had ignored her the entire walk home. I'd been so happy when I realized that I was _free_. The engagement was over and done with, and I had broken it off for a good reason. That had really been the whole reason I had been cautious about breaking the engagement off. I had been raised in a very polite household. Regardless of my feelings toward Lauren, Esme never would have forgiven me if I had proposed to her then taken it all back. I had needed a reason to end it, and that had been it. I had taken my chance and run with it. And it had paid off in the end.

My thoughts had instantly shifted to Bella. My family had been careful to avoid her, knowing how sensitive I was to that particular subject.

But now here was Alice, shoving her back into my life.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "We both know I can't forget about her, Alice."

She grinned and handed me the phone. "Have fun, Edward," she chirped, backing away from me quickly. I glanced at the number being dialed, and my heart almost stopped. She had dialed Bella's number.

"Alice?" came Bella's beautiful voice, shocked and tired at the same time.

I was silent, glaring at Alice like a petulant child. I knew I was going to have to speak soon, or Bella would hang up. That scared me more than talking to her did.

"No. It's not Alice," I finally said quietly. Alice beamed, jumping up and down. She shot me a thumbs-up, and I scowled at her.

"Edward?" Bella gasped. My chest constricted at how stunned she sounded. It hurt me to think that she had been waiting all this time for me to talk to her.

I had to get it together. But I hadn't had time to think about saying anything. It appeared I would be reverting to exactly what I hadn't wanted to say. "Hello, Bella. How have you been?" I winced, waiting for her rage, however adorable it was.

Bella had always complained about her inability to be frightening. I found it amusing and cute. She tried to act ferocious but ended up looking charming.

"I've been stressed out and wondering where the hell you went. How are you?" she snapped. I sighed softly. I hadn't expected much different. She had the right to be angry with me. I had neglected to call her for fear that just the sound of her voice would send me running back to Forks without a second glance back.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I murmured sincerely, glancing up at Alice, who was listening to our conversation fervently. "I've been exhausted. Studying all the time does that." I laughed for a short moment, knowing damn well I'd been doing anything but studying.

Bella exhaled slowly, like she was trying to calm down. "How are Rosalie and Emmett?"

I wanted to scream. Why did she have to pick the one question that would make her angry with me? Could we not just catch up for ten or twenty minutes before she would become livid with me? Apparently not. I deserved it, I guess. God had a cruel sense of humor.

I finally talk to the girl I love for the first time in two years, and in the first thirty seconds of our conversation, she asks the question that will probably kill our conversation.

But, like every other time, I knew I had to tell her the truth. Bella hated being lied to. "They got married." Alice and I looked at each other, worried.

There was a short silence, and then Bella snapped, "Oh, really? When was that?" I could hear the venom in her voice. It was so unlike Bella that I couldn't answer for a moment.

"A few months ago. We're sorry, Bella." It was all I could think to say. _Curse Alice for doing this to me_, I thought angrily. Then a wicked smile crossed my face. "That's what Alice wanted to tell you." I covered the speaker and held the phone out to her.

"No, Edward," Alice hissed.

"Yes, Alice," I growled. "You got me into this, you can get me out of it."

She sighed heavily and took the phone from my hand. "Bella, we are so sorry. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about." I smirked as I watched Alice talk to Bella. It surprised me a little how easily she was talking to Bella, almost like she'd . . . planned it.

That evil little pixie had known that I wouldn't be able to turn down an offer like talking to Bella.

"Jasper proposed a few weeks ago, and I wanted you to come be my maid of honor!" Alice smirked at me, and my mouth dropped open. Bella would be at Alice and Jasper's wedding? But Alice was far from done. "We wanted to have the wedding in Forks, you know, so we could come see you and Charlie." Alice was smiling as she spoke of Bella's father.

I growled and stalked out of the room. I had been tricked. That was unfair. It wasn't that I didn't want to see Bella. No, that was far from the problem. I was terrified that Bella would still be angry with me for abandoning her. I heard Alice in the background, talking about how we would be back in Forks within the week.

I wondered how long everyone had been planning this, while I had been in the dark. I dialed Jasper's number, seething with fury at the idea that I would be left out of anything that had to do with Bella.

"Yes, Edward?" I could hear how cautious his voice was. That made me angrier. Did that mean that today was planned? Was every word Alice said on a script somewhere?

"Did you know about this?" I hissed, trying to calm down but not finding reason why I should.

There was a short hesitation. "Yes," he admitted.

I was silent for a moment. "Does everyone know?" I asked quietly. In the back of my mind, I knew that if Alice found out that I had threatened Jasper like this, I would be locked away in a dungeon to never see the light of day again. But, again, I couldn't bring myself to care at this point. She had crossed a line, and I needed information now. Jasper was the only one who had the courage to stand up to Alice. She seemed sweet and innocent, but if you pissed her off, you might never speak again. Thankfully, Jasper knew who the bigger threat was in this situation.

Jasper sighed. "Yeah. Everyone knows."

"Even Carlisle and Esme?"

"Yes, Edward. We wanted it to be a surprise. We know you miss Bella."

Her name made me feel warm inside, which was strange. Her name meant beautiful, and beautiful she was. "I just wish I had been given some warning," I muttered, sitting down.

"I'm sorry," Jasper apologized. It wasn't his fault, and we both knew it. It was obvious that Alice had planned this. She was the only one who had repeatedly commented that we should go back to Forks soon. I had always made excuses for not going. If I didn't go to her wedding, she would be crushed, and Esme and Carlisle would never forgive me. Alice had planned it all from the start.

I heard Alice curse in the background, and I began to worry. "Jasper, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later." I didn't wait for his answer and snapped the phone shut. I went back out to the living room and scowled at Alice.

_Give me the phone, _I mouthed, narrowing my eyes at my sister.

Alice shook her head quickly, and I motioned for her to give the phone to me again. "I want to talk to her," I insisted quietly.

"Fine, Edward. Here she is," Alice sighed, handing the phone to me. By the time I took the phone from Alice, the call had ended.

"She hung up on me," I breathed, not understanding. Alice and I looked at each other. Alice gave me a sympathetic look, and I was probably still in shock. It was difficult to believe that my best friend, the most caring person in the world, had hung up on me.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Alice whispered, standing up to hug me tightly. "But we'll get to see her soon, so it'll be okay."

I nodded absentmindedly. I had to believe that Bella and I would be the same, even after two years apart. If anything had changed between us, it would kill me.

The next few days consisted of packing for a week or so. Emmett and Rosalie were good about being subtle with their hints of apology. I understood that everyone was sorry about leaving me out of the plans to go back to Forks for Jasper and Alice's wedding. If I was being honest with myself, I was ecstatic that I was going back.

I just wished that I had gotten to talk to Bella more before she had ended the call. It upset me every time I thought about the phone call. If only I had heard her voice for a few more minutes, if only I told her how I felt – there were many 'if only' scenarios. But she had hung up before I had even considered any of them.

It had been decided that we would drive. It would give us an opportunity to see the country, and it gave me time to think about seeing the girl I had fallen in love with four years ago. Bella and I had _always_ been close friends. From the day we'd met in first grade, we had been there for each other through everything imaginable. She was there for me when Emmett picked on me, and I was there to catch her when she fell.

We completed each other, and we had always heard Esme and Charlie joking about how adorable it would be if we fell in love. At age ten, we scowled and would play tag or hide and seek. At fourteen, we both blushed and turned away. And around sixteen or seventeen, our eyes would meet momentarily before flicking away, embarrassed.

It was easy to be myself around Bella because she was just so accepting of everyone and everything. She was curious about the world and the people in it, and that in itself fascinated me. She was such a quiet girl. Bella always had been.

It scared me to think of her as a woman now. She was a few months past twenty, just a couple of months younger than me. I was afraid to think of her on her own. Then there were the other thoughts. Had she found a boyfriend? Perhaps old friends from high school that had become more permanent? Or maybe she had found new friends. That worried me. I knew Bella would never forget us. We were in too much of her past, but it was still possible that she would reject us for disappearing from her life so suddenly.

Emmett had taken Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice with him in his Jeep. I had chosen to drive by myself. It gave me time to think, and as a plus, it meant that I didn't have to deal with questions from my siblings. They were roughly ten minutes ahead of me, and they would arrive at Bella's house before I would.

It had been decided that if Bella said anything that even remotely suggested that she didn't want to see me, Alice would call, and I would leave her alone. It would kill me, but I would do anything for Bella.

When we got to the border of Forks, I kept looking at my cell phone like a crazy person. It never once rang, and I knew that Alice and the others were at Bella's house definitely because I was only five minutes away from there. But like the paranoid person I was, my fingers were tapping out an erratic rhythm, and I wasn't allowing myself the hope that Bella would want to see me.

I told myself that it was impossible that she would want to see me, and that it would be better if I turned around before I got the call. My heart was beating quickly when I was roughly a minute from her house. It had been a route I had taken many times after I had gotten my driver's license before her. She had hated me for it, but it was good-natured teasing.

When I turned onto her street, I thought I was going to be sick. I was so excited and worried at the same time. Alice hadn't called, so I had to assume that she was okay with seeing me. I was a few houses down when I caught the first glimpse of her.

She hadn't changed a bit from what I could see so far. She still had long, silky brunette hair, and she was still pale. I hadn't known what to expect, but I was grateful to see that my best friend remained intact. It was easy to see that she was laughing and talking with Alice.

I was almost shaking as I pulled behind Emmett's Jeep and parked the car. I could barely pull the keys out of the ignition because my fingers were trembling so violently. I couldn't understand why I was so anxious. Bella was my best friend. I glanced up at her as I got out of the car.

My eyes flickered to Jasper, who was shutting the door to Bella's father's home. He shot me a wink, and I wanted to kill them for leaving me out here with Bella alone. I didn't know what I was going to say, or how I was going to explain myself.

But when I looked at her, everything just melted away, and I knew exactly what to do. This was _Bella_. I didn't have to think about saying the right thing or doing the right thing. She was always going to be there for me, no matter how many times I messed up.

Her eyes were still warm and inviting, and her skin was pale, as it had always been. She grinned when she saw me, and I smiled back easily. My smile dropped when I noticed her frame, though. It was apparent that she had been losing weight.

My eyes snapped to hers, concerned. "Have you lost weight, Bella?" I managed to whisper, trying not to let the extent of my worry escape me.

She scowled, showing her adorable fury. "Why is everyone stuck on the fact that I might have lost four or five pounds?" she growled. I fought to keep my calm. Four or five pounds was a lot for her, seeing as she was already very petite to begin with. I wasn't sure that it was connected to my leaving, but it was the first thing that came to mind. "Especially after all of you disappear for two years."

I was certain my heart stopped. I gasped softly, glancing up at her. I frowned. "I'm so sorry, Bella," I breathed, longing to reach out and touch her cheek. "I never meant for that to happen. I figured you were mad at us after you didn't call or write." My mind recalled all the times that I had deleted text message after text message, terrified of her reaction.

She sighed gently. "I was actually expecting you guys to write or call." Her cheeks flushed slightly, and she averted her eyes. She shifted uncomfortably, rocking on her heels slightly. Her change in posture gave me time to notice what she was wearing. She had old, worn, white tennis shoes on, with a pair of jeans. Her shirt was a dark blue v-neck long-sleeved shirt. It was so _Bella_.

"I missed you, Bella," I whispered sincerely. "You look . . ." _Incredible. Fantastic. Beautiful._

"Tired, stressed, overworked, shocked – take your pick, I know they're all true," she sighed, running a hand through her silky hair.

I knew I couldn't say what I had thought, so I stuck with the safe route. "Good. You look good, Bella. It's hard to believe that it's been two years." I expected her to agree, but her eyes narrowed slightly at me. My eyes widened. What had I done to make her look at me like this? Well, besides leave her for two years.

"Two years, three months, and eleven days," she corrected meekly. My heart sank. She'd been counting.

"What was that?" I murmured. I thought I knew what she had said, but I could be wrong. Unfortunately, I wasn't.

"It's been two years, three months, and eleven days since you left Forks," she repeated. I heard the unspoken phrase on the end. _Since you left me_. I felt so horrible for leaving her to deal with this. So I did the only thing that always worked.

I hugged her, pulling her body against mine. I sighed quietly at the feeling of her small body near mine again. I buried my face into her hair, and it was as soft as ever. "I'm so sorry, Bella. But I'm back now. It's okay," I insisted.

Her tiny fingers curled into my shirt, and she buried her face into my chest. "I missed you, Edward." Her voice was quiet, thoughtful, and I knew better than to interrupt her when she was thinking. I had learned my lesson the first time. We had been ten or so, and I had tried to get her to play tag while she was reading. I had never interrupted again.

We were silent for a good few minutes before I felt her tears soak my shirt. I glanced down, alarmed, and she was crying, her tiny body shaking gently with the force of her tears. I debated for a short moment – let her think or ask her what was wrong.

I would face her wrath a million times if it meant stopping her from hurting so much. "Bella," I whispered, rubbing her back gently. Her eyes were filled with tears when she looked up at me. "You still zone out, I see." I smiled halfheartedly, and I gently wiped the tears from her eyes.

My eyes snapped up to the window, where Alice was grinning and giving me a thumbs-up. I stiffened slightly and glared at her. She continued to watch. I might as well tell Bella. She would stop Alice, no matter what happened.

"Bella, you need to stop crying," I murmured in her ear, trying to hold back a chuckle. "They're watching us through the window." Her head shot up, and her eyes zeroed in on Alice. My sister hid behind the curtain, and Bella laughed softly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I just – it's nice to see you, you know?" She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand quickly, then smiled at me.

"Yes, I know," I answered. _You have no idea, Bella, _I thought wryly. I smiled back at her, and we went inside. Strangely enough, my hand was drawn to the small of her back. It stayed there as I led her into Charlie's house.

---

I didn't see much of Bella in the days leading up to the wedding. She was always with Alice, Rosalie, and Esme. I felt awkward, trying to spend time with Bella, while she was being informed of plans already decided about the wedding. Alice had wrangled her into her dress. I already knew what the dress looked like, and Alice knew I wanted to kill her for it.

The dress was beautiful. It was a deep blue, which, Alice knew, was my favorite color on Bella. It contrasted perfectly with her pale skin. I tried to keep to myself, mostly. Emmett and Jasper didn't need to know how I suffered every time Bella looked at me with a sad smile on her face.

I felt like I was the cause of that gloomy look on her angelic features, and I didn't want to antagonize the feeling. It killed me to stay away from her, and several times, I thought I heard her crying. I convinced myself that it was only my imagination, that there was no way she could be crying.

On the day of Alice and Jasper's wedding, I knew that I only had one day left with Bella, and I had barely said ten words to her after the first day back. I figured today would be the same. I would politely smile at Bella, perhaps murmur a word or two, then continue on my way.

I had toyed with the idea of telling her how I felt before we left, but everything I thought of didn't voice what I felt. It was difficult for me to express how I felt after being so cut off from her. And especially after Lauren and I had broken up. I had no feelings for Lauren, but just the thought of explaining to Bella that I had been engaged but hadn't felt a thing seemed awkward.

I was nervous, not for Jasper, or even Alice, but for myself on the day of the wedding. For one, I would have to see Bella in a gorgeous dress, and it would probably be my last day in Forks. I was walking around the house, trying to calm down before the wedding began, and trying, once again, to get Bella off my mind.

She was always there, a constant presence, one that was not entirely unwelcome. There were days I made myself think of her, but there were times that I didn't need to be thinking of her – times like this. It was my sister's wedding, and all I could think about was her best friend – _my_ best friend.

I glanced up and saw her coming toward me. She was in the dress, and my heart stopped. My breath caught in my throat, and I wanted to fall at her feet and worship her because she looked like a goddess. Her mahogany hair was in loose waves, and her skin positively glowed. The dress showed off her legs, and she was in heels, giving her an extra inch or two.

"Hey," she murmured, moving past me. I don't know what possessed me to grab her, but I did. My hand shot out and grasped her upper arm, bringing her to a stop.

"Bella," I breathed, unsure of what else to say. She turned to face me, a wary look on her perfect face.

"Yeah, Edward?" My eyes ran the length of her body once more, and she noticed, to my great chagrin. She flushed heavily, and my eyes softened at the familiar gesture.

I didn't know what to tell her. I wasn't sure what would be too forward. I knew our limits before, in high school, but that was years ago. My lip automatically trapped itself between my teeth. It was a habit I'd picked up from Bella when we were younger.

I sighed gently. _Might as well say it. _"You look beautiful."

She blushed a brighter red. "Uh, thanks, Edward," she said uncomfortably. "You, too." She thought I was beautiful? Both our eyes widened at her words. She shook her head quickly. "Well, not that. You don't look beautiful." My expression must have fallen. "Well, I mean, yeah, you do, but –" She stopped trying to amend her words and breathed slowly, calming down. "You look nice, Edward," she told me.

I smirked a little, loving how awkward she was with this because I wasn't alone in my anxiousness. She felt nervous around me, too. I wasn't yet sure if that was a good or bad thing, but I was hoping it was a good thing. She finally glanced up at me, her brown eyes sparkling.

"Thanks, Bella." In a rush of anxiety, I pulled my fingers through my hair. As soon as I had done it, I cursed myself for messing up my hair. Alice would have a temper tantrum if she saw it. "Shit. Damn it, Bella, look what you made me do." My voice was teasing, and I knew she wouldn't take it offensively.

Her offer shocked me. "Want me to fix that?" Her voice was meek, and it held a huge amount of doubt in it. It stunned me into momentary silence, and I blinked a few times, shocked by her offer. I nodded slowly, watching for her reaction.

She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth, and her eyes flashed to my face, then to the ground. "Uhm, you're too tall. Bend down."

Surprised by her command, I dropped to my knees immediately and shut my eyes, trying not to embarrass her. Instead, I focused on the feeling of her tiny fingers obsessively fixing my hair just so. Her hands were warm, and I melted into her touch. I could almost imagine her face, scrunched up in concentration as she flicked a piece of offending hair away while she tried to fix what I had destroyed.

Her hand gently touched my cheek, and I looked up, surprised. Her hand was so _warm_. She nodded, her lip still firmly trapped between her teeth, telling me that it was all right for me to stand now. I got to my feet, shuffling uncomfortably. The tension between us was undeniable.

She had to feel it. There was no way she could be ignoring how this felt. "Thanks," I murmured, realizing that she was waiting for me to say something.

"You're welcome," she replied, smiling a little. "Well, I should probably get going. Alice is going to freak out if I'm not there."

Of course – she was in Alice's wedding. _Alice! _I reminded myself. I had to go too. "See you around, Bella."

I watched her as she disappeared down the hall, both cursing and praising Alice for putting her in that stunning dress.

---

Bella looked close to tears as Alice and Jasper said their vows. I was happy for Jasper and Alice. He would be good to her, I was sure of it. Alice had deemed it completely necessary to take as many photos as possible, though the wedding was small, and I was tired of smiling by the end of the session.

Because the wedding was at our home, Carlisle and Esme had assured us that it was all right to disperse and let our minds wander back to a simpler time. They wanted us to remember old times, things we had shared, times we'd had as a family.

I went to my old music room, remembering the lullaby I'd written for Bella at the beginning of our senior year. It had been the ups and downs of our friendship, the sleepovers we'd had, and the laughs we had shared. It was the jokes that only we knew, the way we were meant to be, and the secret love I had harbored for her. It was us, in song form.

I lay back on the couch, playing the song in my head. I had played it so many times that I heard it whenever I called it to me. It had been a long while since I had used it. It was my final resort. Whenever I was upset, or feeling hopeless, I brought Bella's lullaby into my mind.

It was my escape, really. It brought me to the realm where Bella and I were meant to be together, as I had dreamt for years. It took me to a place where I came home to her warmth and comfort every day, where she had dinner cooked, and where we went places, holding hands. The song made me think of Bella in a wedding dress, walking toward me, Bella holding our child, Bella and I, growing old together.

I sighed softly. It would never happen. I had to go home tomorrow.

A creak alerted me to a presence, and I shot up, ready to snap at whoever was disturbing me. My family knew how devastated I was to be leaving Forks so quickly.

Bella's wide eyes stared back at me from the hallway. I relaxed, happy to see her again. I sat back against the couch. "Hey, Bella." _Please, don't leave. I need more time,_ I begged silently.

I shut my eyes, ready for her to leave. My hands automatically went to my hair and gripped it tightly. I sighed. I was exhausted. Life was hard, and it hurt me to think that I would have to leave this warm, kind, beautiful woman tomorrow because I wouldn't tell her what I felt.

"Hi, Edward. Are you okay?" she asked, concerned. "You look out of it." I probably did. I might as well tell her the truth.

"I _am_ out of it," I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut tighter. "I'm stressing out about all this stuff." I felt the undeniable urge to smack myself. That had been too much information. I cracked an eye open. Her eyes were on me, gentle and soft.

"Where are you going to have your wedding?" she asked. She sat demurely on my piano bench, and I briefly considered playing her lullaby for her. I decided against it. I had much more pressing issues to think about. Such as why she asked where I wanted to have my wedding. I thought it was strange that she asked such a question but immediately chalked it up to Alice's recent wedding. Bella was such a romantic, and we both knew it.

Though, of course, when she asked me, my mind immediately thought of where _she_ would like to have the wedding – _our_ wedding. I could imagine Bella walking down a beach in bare feet with a beautiful white dress, her dark brown hair curled, and her eyes shining brightly. She would hate trying to walk down a beach in heels. Hell, she would hate walking in heels in the first place. Heels and Bella did not work together. Bella had the worst balance ever. She had been that way since I had first met her.

I couldn't let her know how much the image taunted me. I shrugged, trying to blow it off by acting nonchalant. "I'm not sure. Probably on a beach, something quiet, like Alice and Jasper did." Bella grimaced, but before I could ask what was wrong, she nodded quickly.

She blurted, "So where would your honeymoon be?" I couldn't allow myself to think about that, so I spat out the two countries she had always admired and crooned about.

"Eh, Italy or France. They're beautiful countries." Her face paled, and I watched her, concerned. Why was she acting like this? What had I said?

"What's she like?" Bella whispered, wringing her hands together, staring at her feet, almost ashamed.

I shot up, looking at her in confusion. "Who?" I asked, my voice tight. Surely Alice wouldn't have . . .

"Your fiancée?" Bella's eyes were glued to me, and her face was full of sadness.

Alice had told her. But she didn't seem to realize that Lauren and I had ended long ago. "What fiancée?" I asked cautiously. It was so like Alice to talk to Bella about things like this behind my back and make certain that every word was said perfectly so that doubt began to creep in like a thin fog, lightly hazing over your vision and making things you once saw clearly, more difficult to understand. Alice was death when she wanted to be.

But of course, everyone trusted Alice. How could they not? She was so small, so seemingly innocent. Bella had fallen under her spell. Her eyes grew insistent, and she started nearly bouncing where she sat. "Alice said that you were engaged and –"

Fury flashed through me, quick and deadly. My eyes narrowed, and I snapped my jaw shut, trying to get myself under control so that I didn't go kill my sister. I felt my fingers press into my palms. "I'm not engaged, Bella," I snapped out as gently as I could.

"But Alice said that you were," she insisted, like Alice never twisted things to get them in her favor. "She said that you weren't in touch with me because of your engagement." Her voice took a sad dip, and that in itself made me angrier.

Alice had made her think that I was engaged this entire time. That had to have been the reason why Bella had acted so strangely around me, always flicking her eyes toward me then snapping them away, why she had tried to avoid speaking to me so much. It even explained why she had hung up on me.

She had to know the truth. She had to know that I didn't have a commitment to anyone anymore. No one was more important to me than she was. She had to know.

"I _was_ engaged," I corrected in a hard voice, putting deliberate emphasis on the past tense. Her eyes widened as she took in this news. I could see the wheels in her head turning, trying to connect what Alice had told her, and what I had just informed her of.

"You're not engaged?" she whispered incredulously.

I shook my head slowly. "Nope. It ended a few months ago. She was cheating on me." My voice was lifeless because it meant nothing. She could have slept with the entire school, and it wouldn't have had an effect on me.

"That's awful," Bella soothed, sympathy laced in her voice.

I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to avoid her gaze. "She wasn't the right girl for me, anyway." _But I know who is_. She was right in front of me. She just didn't know it yet.

"Edward, I –" My eyes flicked to her face. She sighed, taking a deep breath. I sat up, attentive to her every movement. This brought back a haunting sense of déjà vu.

"I l –" I held my breath. I didn't want 'I'll miss you' this time around. I wanted more. She looked down at her tiny hands, clasped together tightly and shut her eyes tightly.

I waited for three seconds before the dam spilled. "Edward, I love you. I've always loved you. I thought I was going to die inside when I thought that you were getting married to someone else. And it killed me when you left for Dartmouth. I'm sorry I never told you, but I was always afraid of what you would say or think. But I'm not afraid anymore. Not of admitting my feelings for you after I was convinced that I had already lost you." She fell silent almost immediately.

The room was quiet, just the sounds of our breathing. Bella stood, keeping her eyes on the ground, refusing to look at me. She tried to walk past me, but after that speech, I was never going to let her go again.

I took her hand, pulling her to a stop. She warily turned around, and I stared up at her, shocked by her speech and what she had said.

"I love you, too, Bella." I stood, finally letting my hand touch her cheek as I had always wanted. I wasn't sure if my next action was too rushed, but I couldn't help myself.

I brought my lips to hers gently. Her lips were soft and warm, just like the rest of her. Our first kiss was gentle and sweet and just perfect. "I love you," I breathed. "I've always loved you. I hated leaving you. I didn't want to go." That was the understatement of the century. "I thought I could get over you. I can't, Bella. I love you too much."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. My hands went around her shoulders, and I held her to me. She hid her face in my chest and sighed contentedly.

---

_Four Years Later ..._

I sat on our bed, looking at our wedding picture. I had told Bella a few months before I had proposed that I had imagined her walking toward me when she asked about the location of my wedding. She had agreed with my idea wholeheartedly, and we had gone to France for our honeymoon.

"Edward!" my wife called. I stood, instantly wanting to be near her. I went to the kitchen and saw my daughter on Bella's hip. She was pointing to a cookie, and I grinned. _Like father, like daughter_.

Bella was the best cook, and her cookies were fit for the gods. It was no wonder that Renesmee was obsessed with them. She was even biting her lip like Bella and I did.

I lifted her out of Bella's arms, already agreeing to her request because I wanted a cookie, too. If Renesmee got one, then it was all right for me to have one. That was my logic. "Yes, angel, you can have a cookie, but only one." I swung her around for a moment, and she giggled while I handed her a cookie.

She ate half the thing in one bite. Which, considering she only got one, was not the smartest thing to do because it would be gone in seconds if she kept going at it like that. "Mmm," she sighed, chewing the freshly baked cookie. She was making me hungry just watching her.

"Edward, those were for dinner," Bella complained. I smiled at her and ate a cookie in one bite because suddenly, eating cookies was not as important as kissing Bella. After I swallowed, I kissed her, cupping her cheek with my free hand.

I had explained to Bella my obsession with touching her face a few years ago. I had felt that touching her face while we were just friends was much too forward, and that in being allowed to be that close to her was the greatest acceptance she could give me. It gave me the reassurance that we were a couple, and I was allowed to kiss her and make her laugh and give her the world.

"I know, but you know how we Cullens love your cookies," I teased.

Bella rolled her eyes slightly, and I smiled. "Yes, but I wish you would save them for dessert." Renesmee had finally swallowed the last part of her cookie, and our attention turned to our two-year-old daughter. She had Bella's warm, rich brown eyes, and curly bronze hair. She looked like an angel.

Renesmee yawned, her tiny mouth forming an 'O'. Bella narrowed her eyes at me playfully. "See, Edward? Now she's going to be falling asleep in her dinner."

An image of my daughter introducing me to her boyfriend while I showed him pictures of her asleep in spaghetti flashed through my mind. I grinned widely, and Bella's expression was impatient. It was obvious she wanted to know what I was thinking.

"That would be a fantastic picture to show her future boyfriend," I mused, my eyes flicking to Bella, hoping that she would agree. Our eyes simultaneously flickered to our daughter, and we laughed.

"Would you like that, Renesmee?" Bella cooed, taking our daughter's tiny hand and squeezing. "Do you want Mommy to take a picture of you asleep in your spaghetti?" My heart raced every time Bella called herself Mommy or called me Daddy.

Renesmee's eyes narrowed, and one thing I had learned – she got her anger from me, not Bella. When she got older, I would have to worry about that. But for now, it was still adorable. "No," she growled, crossing her arms and sticking her lower lip out. Alice had taught her that.

It didn't deter me for one second when my daughter threw a slight temper tantrum because there were several ways that she would be pulled back to a good mood no matter what was going on. I was hoping that it would stay that way when she got to be a teenager, but I seriously doubted it.

I bounced her on my hip, tickling her stomach gently. Renesmee smiled brightly. "I love 'sketti!" she squealed happily.

"We know you do, angel, we know," I breathed, kissing her temple. Miraculously, she stayed awake through dinner, and she was in desperate need of a bath.

Bella and I gave her a bath, blowing bubbles at each other and watching our daughter's fascination with the world around her. We put her to bed and watched her until she fell asleep. She slept like Bella did, no matter how much Bella insisted that she slept like me.

I hugged Bella and murmured, "Happy third anniversary." Bella smiled contently and nodded, turning. She hugged me back.

I had asked what she wanted to do tonight. I had been ready for a movie, dinner, an expensive hotel, but tonight was a million times better than anything I'd had in mind. I spent the day at home with my wife and daughter, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

I sighed as I felt her body heat. We had always discussed how I felt like her protector to her when I hugged her. She hadn't been able to describe it to me completely the way she felt, but I could just tell that she was comforted whenever I hugged her.

But I had convinced her several thousand time that she would always be safe while she was in my arms. And she believed me.

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PLEASE, reviews, guys? This beast took me almost an entire week. Homework was neglected for this monster! :D But it was so worth it.

**Review? Please?**

**- J.C.**


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